Specially for the elderly
27/03/2006 The Star

LINDA LIM wonders whether Malaysia will ever have a special community only for seniors with activities and amenities that cater to their their needs.

LAST year on a holiday in the United States, I met my sister’s mother-in-law who is in her 70s and her only child is my sister’s husband.

My sister stays in a comfortable house and she has two children but her mother-in-law does not stay with her. One night my sister asked me to cook a typical Malaysian meal and her guests included her mother-in-law. When she arrived I was surprised at her appearance. She wore a beautiful blue dress with a matching scarf, her nails were manicured and she had matching earrings and bracelet.

She looked really good for someone her age. When I greeted her I was in my Capri pants and a T-shirt that had soya sauce stains on it. I looked like the maid. Secretly I told myself that when I am 70-plus I want to look like her.

We had dinner and she complimented me on my spicy fried rice. During dinner she engaged us with very interesting conversation that ranged from President Bush and his policies to the Jews and Islam. Later I sat down and talked to her.

She lives in a one-room apartment in a place called Sunset Village. In this area there are one and two-room apartments that cater to the seniors.

Her place is self-sufficient. She has a kitchenette and when she is lazy to cook, there is fast food at the shops nearby. Sometimes my sister cooks extra food and sends it over.

When she is free she makes cookies for the grandchildren. There is a launderette nearby, a supermarket, a post office, a pharmacist, a clinic, a community hall and also a library. And so she is independent. Every Sunday her son comes and takes her out for lunch or dinner at home or at a restaurant, and sometimes at mid-week he pops in to visit her.

Her life is filled with activities. She tells me that after her husband left her, she was lonely. Her house was too big for her to take care of. She found out about Sunset Village and rented an apartment there and has not regretted it.

There’s Bingo once a week at the community hall, some folk dancing, tai chi lessons, gin rummy for those who want to play cards, and sometimes movies are screened. And then when she needs family she calls up her son and spends time with his family. What a lovely arrangement.

For those who are fans of Everybody Loves Raymond, one of the final episodes shows Marie and her husband moving to one of these homes (much to the relief of Marie and Raymond, but that is another story).

As I was taking a ride in my hometown recently, I pointed out to my husband that many of our friends are now on their own. Their children have left the nest and went either abroad or to the bigger cities and many of the big houses today have only two occupants.

Of course during holidays and festive seasons the house is filled to the brim with family members. Some employ a maid as they cannot manage to upkeep the house. Some seniors have been robbed as burglars take advantage of the fact that there are only two old people in the bungalow. How do we solve this problem?

If the seniors move in with their children, provided there is room, problems often arise. The old folks feel cloistered in their new environment and problems of an extended family emerge. Some marriages even break up because of in-law problems.

I wonder if anyone has thought of building apartments for the old and aged somewhere along the lines of Sunset Village. In Singapore the government is aiming to have apartments to cater to seniors. It would be nice if something like that can be done for Malaysians.

Those who have bungalows could sell their property and either rent or buy these apartments.

Our activities can be similar to that of my sister’s mother-in-law in her Sunset Village. Now that the rage for seniors is line dancing, we could include that and then there are the ever popular qigong, karaoke sessions, quilting and patchwork classes.

I am sure Malaysian seniors could do with some mahjong sessions. The stakes would be minimal as it is just a form of passing away time. I read that this is one game that can ward off Alzheimer’s disease.

With this way of life the old folks are independent and they have friends of the same age group to socialise and banter with. And when the need arises, they can visit their children or be with their children during festive seasons.

What a neat arrangement.

This way there is no need for the children to resort to sending their parents to old folks’ homes (the many that I have seen are all money-making projects).

Ideally the place should have social amenities and also easy transport to get to town when the need arises.

With a rising ageing population, our developers should think along this line. I have many friends in their golden years who yearn to live in a place like this. Many have children who cannot accommodate them in their houses for some reason or other, so this could be the answer to housing senior folks.

Today’s seniors refuse to be cooped up in their children’s homes. They feel claustrophobic and the neighbourhood is new and they lack friends in the vicinity. So what better way than to live with people their age and engage in activities that cater to their age, go for exercises together, chit-chat over a cuppa and compare notes about their precious grandchildren. Single seniors need not feel left out for there will be others to mingle with.

Malaysia boasts of the tallest Twin Towers in the world, Putrajaya, and a Formula One circuit.

Can we boast of having a place for our senior citizens to spend the rest of their lives in comfort?